A community of cancer survivors supporting each other.
Sign in | New here? Sign Up

avatar

Vital Info


Jennifer (sequoiya72)


December 3, 2010


yahoo: sequoiya72@sbcglobal.net


Hammond, Indiana


October 19, 1972


Cancer Survivor

Cancer Info


Endometrial-Uterine Cancer


Endometrial Adenocarcenoma


November 29, 2010


Stage 1


Grade 2


Hysterectomy, Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy


The fact that I am not in control


It can happen to you


Advice and tips


cervix


Prayers


University of Indiana


Stats


Posts: 22
Photos: 5
Events: 2
My Supporters: 45
I Support: 81
Comments: 131
Views: 17727
RSS Feed

Jennifer's Cancer Blog

Psychic powers and messages from beyond the grave

Hello everybody,

This is going to be a very long post. It is going to have some very private details of my life. Details that I don’t share with people. I figure this is a good place for me to let everything out, plus maybe help somebody with the information that will follow.

A couple of weeks ago I posted about my husband and his current health conditions. There is no update in regards to that yet but I have had something very interesting happen to me that I just felt the need to share with you.

A girlfriend of mine referred me to a guy that she knows personally that is a psychic medium. I have had a lot of inner turmoil going on in my life and she suggested that he may be able to help me. He does the readings via phone and it’s $45 for 15 minutes.

I fought with myself about doing it because for one, $45 is a lot of money for me right now and for two, I was skeptical of this person. Let me say that I am a frim believer that there are people with the gift of being able to communicate with the spirit world, I just wasn’t sure if this gentleman was one of them.

I scheduled the reading for last Wednesday on my lunch hour at work. Daved (the psychic) gave me a conference phone line to all into with a code. The pupose of this was so the reading could be recorded. I called the number and was put on hold. After about 5 mins the other line rang at my work and it was Daved calling me. The conference line was acting up, so I wouldn’t be able to get a recorded copy of the reading. I was disappointed but after everything was said and done I realized there was a reason why it couldn’t be recorded. It wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone but me.

He started off the reading by telling me that he sees a ruby ring. He said it was a ring that I wore for a short period of time but it makes me sad when I look at it so I put it away. He told me that they were saying that I needed to wear this ring…I will explain everything in detail to everyone after I go through the details of this reading..It’s mind blowing.!

Next he tells me that I recently had an argument with my husband and that I held things back from him that I wanted to say…He said you had an infidelity. Then he goes on about how my mom keeps saying “how many times do you need to hear it”. He also told me that all my fears are emotional fears. That I need to stop questioning my decisions and choices that I make.

Next he went onto my sister. He told me that he kept getting a mirroring image and said “You two weren’t twins were you?” No we weren’t. He said that he kept seeing brown to blonde, brown to blonde. He told me that my sister’s journey was completed while she was here and that the whole purpose of her journey was to have a child for me.

At the end of the reading he told me that I have someone very close to me that suffers from addiction issues, and that I need to let them go.

Now I will interpret everything for you. I will start backwards to forward though. the person who suffers from addiction issues is my husband. We have been having a lot of issues in our marriage and I have been fighting with myself about divorcing him. The only reason I am even hanging on at this point is because of his poor health condition. My conscience tells me that I would be an evil bitch if I was to leave him right now because I am all he has.

My sister passed away 10 years ago. The mirroring image he was seeing is her daughter that I am raising. I was never able to have children. Carly’s hair goes from brown to blonde in the summertime. She is the spitting image of my sister.

I did about a month and a half ago have a huge argument with my husband. I did hold back things that I desperately just wanted to say to him. I did have an infidelity in December. Intercourse wasn’t involved but the contact I had with this man, is the kind of contact you only have while you are in a relationship with someone. this is someone from my past, whom now holds my heart. Being a good man, he has stepped away so I can figure out exactly what I need to do in my life and my marriage. He knows that my husband is sick and that I just couldn’t handle falling in love with him and dealing with the situation I currently have at home. I am in love with him and he has not left my thoughts since we have stopped speaking to each other. I know that he isn’t far and that if the time came that I really needed him, he would be there for me. I know this in my heart. I held back telling my husband, I wanted to but didn’t out of fear. He suffers from severe bipolar disorder and can be what I would call a loose cannon.

Over the 21 years of our relationship, anyone who has gotten to know me has asked me why I stay with him or has out right told me I should leave him..Hence my mom coming through saying “how many times do you need to hear it??’ When Daved said those words to me, I could actually visualize her grabbing me by my shoulders and saying that to me.

The ruby ring was a ring that I had bought for my mom for Mother’s Day a couple of years before she died. When she passed away she had the ring on and the hospital gave it to me in a plastic baggie. I kept the ring and wore it on a chain around my neck for awhile but then I put it away in a lock box. The message of I should wear th ering was probably the most important out of everything. This I didn’t realize until I went home that day.

When I got home my husband was acting strange. I had called him from work after the reading because I was extremely emotional. I relayed everything that was said to him on the phone. When I got home I kept asking what was wrong. I could tell something was bothering him. After about 5 minutes of insisting that he tells me what the problem was, he began to cry. He said he didn’t know how to say it to me. He sold my mom’s ruby ring last year for methadone. this is why she insisted that I wear the ring. My mom knew well enough that by having the psychic tell me that, that I would go home and find out that the ring was gone.

The information that I received that day was so indepth and accurate, I still have had a hard time comprehending it all. The reason the phone line wasn’t working and it couldn’t be recorded was because the psychic was going to bring up my infedelity. If it would have been recorded, my husband would have wanted to hear it.

I have to say that I cannot explain the overwhelming sense of peace that I have gotten from this reading. I have carried a lot of pain in my heart for my mom and sister in my heart. The fact that they were no longer here for me was devastating at times. This reading confirmed for me that they are still here and are very aware of what is taking place in my life. this has brought me an amazing amount of comfort..Sometimes we need to just do whatever it is that we need to heal our souls when we have suffered a great loss. My soul is healed now, the pain is gone, and I can finally move on with whatever this life has in store for me.

I hope you are all doing well in your journeys. Just remember, everything has a meaning and purpose, and always happens for a reason.. Much love and peace to all of you!

Dear Jennifer…I don’t know how to explain what happened to you. I remember my mother saying that in her family there was a dream…someone came out of a house and walked around it pouring out a bucket of blood..and the next day there would be news of a death. How?

But you have lived this. And I am so glad that you are at peace.

XOXO

Helen,

I can’t even explain it. My mom was always my rock. The one person that I could always turn too for advice, comfort, decision making. Since she has been gone I have really struggled with my decisions. Making a break from my husband…ect. This just confirmed for me that she is still watching over me and quite frankly seeing things that are going on that I wasn’t even aware of. Almost like she still has my back. I’ve carried a lot of sorrow and pain in my heart for my mom and sister. Within two years I lost my family with the exception of my dad. It has been very hard for me since then because my support structure was gone. I don’t need to feel like that anymore. There were even specific things brought up about my niece during the reading that I didn’t include in my post. That also brought me great comfort in knowing that they see her, and the person she is becoming. I was always sad because she was very young when we lost both of them. The thought of them not being able to enjoy her like I do really bothered me. I know now though that they do. I always have had a strong faith in God, but sometimes life becomes so hard and you go through so many obstacles that you really begin to question things. I will never again question my faith, the fact that there is a heaven, or if I will be reunited with the people that meant so much to me in this life. Take care Helen, xoxo

Been gone but have not forgotten...

Hey everybody,

I know it’s been a while since I have posted. Life has taken over again, and it’s usually stays pretty busy. Between work, my little one’s school,her sports, and just day to day. I just haven’t had much to say lately I guess. Even though I have put my cancer in the back of my mind, it always seems like there is someone new to worry about when it comes to this horrible disease.

I know I put in a previous post of mine about marital problems that I had been facing. I’m currently still with my husband. At this point, it is more out of obligation than anything else. Before my cancer diagnosis, my husband was having issues of his own. He had some lumps that appeared under his jaw bone. He went to see our regular GP at the time, was put on some antibiotics and sent on his way.

The antibiotics never worked and he has gradually gotten worse over time. We are among the thousands of uninsured, so medical care is not easy to come by. He now has drenching night sweats, enlarged lymph nodes in his neck, arm pits, groin and various other places. He is fatigued all the time, has shortness of breath, and complains that he is in quite a bit of pain.

I forced him to go to the doctor a few months ago, and when I say forced I mean dragging him almost kicking and screaming! They ordered a CT scan of his neck and chest. The test came back inconclusive because the quack that we went to didn’t order the scan with contrast.

The CT scan did note that he has two lesions in his right lung an enlarged aortic lymph node and several other nodes were commented on. The end result stated it was inconclusive due to the lack of contrast.( trust me I was livid about this.)My husband just turned 45 and has been a heavy smoker for the majority of his life.

He now refuses to go back to the doctor for any further testing. He’s scared that they are going to tell him that he’s dying. I have begged and pleaded with him but all to no avail. I can see the physical changes that have taken place. His face is vey drawn and he just looks sickly to me. He literally drenches our bed at night and has to sleep on towels, otherwise he will soak all the bedding.

I’m at my wits end with him. I’m tired of arguing and trying to get him to do what is right for himself. I’m almost afraid that things are too far gone at this point, and when he finally does get a diagnosis, it’s going to be too late to do anything for him.

I needed to come here and vent about what has been taking place. This isn’t something that you can just discuss with people who have not been on the receiving end of cancer. I have sooo much anger towards him right now! It’s to the point that I am wanting to just walk away from him. I feel that he is being very selfish at this point and is not even taking our family into consideration. I tried to explain to him that the not knowing is so much harder than the knowing, but everything seems to fall on deaf ears. I guess the old saying rings true that you can’t help someone who is not even willing to help themself.

Hopefully, the next post I write won’t be about my fears being confirmed…I hope all of you are doing wonderfully, and never stop fighting!

Mersea, Rachel sent you a hug.

I’m so sorry Jenn that your husband is going through this. We girls know that our men are just big babies and he must be paralyzed with the fear of hearing the C word. He needs to know that the sooner he gets some kind of treatment, the better the outcome. Hopefully your cancer center has a therapist you can see (by yourself) so that you can get a handle on the emotions that are eating you up. They also might help you find a way to talk to your husband. I will keep you both in my thoughts.
xoxo

 Thanks Deb!

 Totally agree with Debbie! Good Luck!

Jennifer – I am so very sorry you are having to go through this right now. What your husband seems to have sounds quite serious. I sincerely hope that you or someone else can get him to face this reality and address it. Fear is a powerfil emotion that can get in the way of us finding what we really need. It may seem easier to crawl into the hole of denial but sooner or later reality will sneak in with you (or him, as in this case). I will say a prayer that he will come to his senses and see all of the people who love him and want what is best for him. Maybe then he will see his own life is of value and can pursue treatment if it is needed. He has some very typical signs going on, but you know that. I know you are scared too. Having faced the beast head on you know it is a fearsome foe but not unbeatable! You are both in my prayers. Keep us posted!

 Thanks Koryn! That is the main problem, the way he values his life. My husband suffers from severe bipolar disorder and manic depression. Every day has been a struggle for him for a long time now. This also plays a huge role in his desire to seek treament. I just feel very disheartened at this point.

Wow. I am sorry for him, and for you. It certainly appears that he may well be dying. Is it better not to know? There is surely some way to at least get another test…but if he doesn’t act soon….Debbie is so right, YOU need emotional strength now. ARe there any support groups at your cancer center, which you could surely join without any cost.

That this kind of thing can happen in the “richest” and “best” country in the world drives me into a frenzy. Why is it that we alone in the industrialized world do not consider health care to be part of your rights as a citizen? So sad.

Jenn, please go and talk to the social services people at your cancer center…for help for both of you….

 Thank you Helen

Jennifer, please let us know what you do! A big hug from way out west…

Jennifer, please post again and tell us what happens, and here’s a hug for you from way out west…

 I will keep eveyone updated when and if I finally convince him to go in. This is something that I address everyday with him. Hopefully, he will get tired of my nagging and eventually give in…Hugs to you too Helen! I’m glad you’re doing well!

Jennifer! So sorry that this is happening! Sorry but I agree with you and think he should be thinking about you and his family!I agree with all that was said here and think you should go for emotional support as I feel being a caregiver is much harder then having the disease emotionally. I was the caregiver for my mom 2 years before my DX. I will be praying and hoping things get better for you and your family. Big hugs for you Val

Jennifer I’m so sorry you are going through this. What is it about guys that they won’t seek help or treatment unroll the “last half of the ninth?”. Does he have a good friend who he listens to? Or maybe your children? An appeal from other than we as wives might work. I know that sometimes I’m the last person John will listen to, despite being the one who cares the most. I think you are right to have huge concerns about your husband’s health. It sounds as if whatever is going on is advancing and needs treatment pronto. Do you have even a pastor you may be close to? Try to get him to see reason by approaching from multiple fronts. Prayers to you and him, my dear.







Support Me (45)

 Carol Carol   KorynHKorynH   Private UserPrivate User   RachelRachel  
Private UserPrivate User   Private UserPrivate User   Private UserPrivate User   Private UserPrivate User